Humbleness and Tears

This week has been an emotional one for me so far. THere are some circumstances going on in our lives right now that are difficult. I was sharing some of them with one of my aunt's and she sent me something that she found on the internet that was encouraging to her. It humbled me and brought me to tears. I thought I would share it here with you all.


Circumstances created fear in my heart. The anxiety began to grow until, one day after my evening prayer walk, the Lord said, "How long do you want to keep your eyes on the circumstances instead of Me? Do you think I have brought you this far to throw you into the water?" The truth was that I was halfway in already because my eyes were looking at the "big waves" surrounding my boat. One night, in a support group the leader asked each of us to keep our eyes on two men who were going to walk from the room. One man represented Jesus, the other, our circumstances. "Now, I want you to keep your eyes on both people," he said. The men stood up and began walking across the room in opposite directions. It was impossible to keep looking at each of them at the same time. So we had to choose which we would focus on. The lesson was clear. We could not keep our eyes on Jesus and our circumstance at the same time.It was written by Os Hillman... Found it on the internet.

Struggles

Every day, every hour there seems to be something new.
Another loved one gone, another job lost, another child starving.
Struggles, Struggles they never seem to stop.
You want to help someone else but you can't....
You to are struggling.
You want to feed that starving child, give money to the widow's fund,
But how with what money,
The electric payment,
The grocery money,
Are we simply to give it all?
To give and let GOd?
Struggles will never stop.
WHy?
Simple....
We have more to learn, more to understand..
Hope.... That's how we survive
God's faithfulness will never stop...
Here and in eternity
God's Beautifulness will always shine through

Good Friends, Good Times

Last weekend we had the joy of spending the weekend with our very good friends Tami and Glenn Clodgo. Tami was an answer to prayer for me our first semester of Bible School. I'll never forget the day that I had just walked out of my apartment with my son who was only 7mths old at the time after a time of serious prayer asking the Lord to provide a friend for me. I walked down to the laundry mat when a car pulled up beside me and said "what a beautiful little girl!" of course my first response was "it's not a girl, it's a boy!" but from then on she became one of my best friends that semester. We spent just about every weekend at their house playing games, Glenn was the one who gave Logan his first piece of chocolate cake, Tami made me an awesome birthday dinner. They were wonderful friends of ours and it was wonderful to see them again. They are now missionaries in spain and their 2 kids have grown so much. We have 2 more kids than that first semester. So much had changed and yet it seemed like just yesterday that we had seen them. We have no idea when we will see them again so it was wonderful to visit with them. So thank you Lord, for that wonderful blessing. Please pray for them as they work in the country of Spain. As they try to break through the barriers there.

Tami and Glenn we love you guys and it was beyond wonderful to see you guys

Dog

My mom's dog is lost. THis dog is very very special to her. She waited and longed and searched for a dog that she could afford and that was just perfect for her when she moved back to the states. She bought this dog about 2 yrs ago. One of the ideas of this dog was to be able to breed her so that they could make some money from puppies. SO last sunday she was taken to a place about 45 minutes from here for a week. My mom went to pick her up on friday and the lady informed her that she had LOST her dog. She just ran away. This lady has not been very helpful. SHe has put up a couple of signs and helped a little bit looking for her but no like someone who has lost a dog. The whole thing just does not sit right with me. THe dog (Pepper) is a very obedient dog she never runs away, she always comes when called, something just is not right here. My mom and dad have spent the last 3 days looking for her. Me and my sisters and husbands and kids all went last night looking for her. We saw her and she took off! We don't know what to do. SOmething has her spooked and there is nothing we can do! They can't catch her. Personally I don't trust the lady that had her. Pepper is not herself and I really think something happened to her. Please, Please pray that they catch her soon.

5 THings that I Long For:

1)To return to Venezuela and spend time with my Acosta Family

2)To stop having to struggle so much financially

3)To get on the mission field

4)A completly organized home

5)A pool (I LOVE to swim!!!)


5 THings that I Am Striving For....

1)To show GOd's love to those around me

2)To be more diligent about doing daily devotions

3)To stop bieng so nagging

4)To be a better mother and wife

5)TO start running in the mornings

Prayer for my sister Tami...

My oldest sister Tami is going in for a heart procedure tomorrow morning. It's a 6hr procedure so please keep her in your prayers.

Gago....

Last night as we were driving home from my sisters house we were listening to the radio and a song came on. The song made me tear up because it reminded me so much of Ramon.

Ramon is THE love of my life. We have gone through so much together and for eachother. No one really understood it when we first started dating. But the moment I met him I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was the man I was going to marry. I never had any doubts I never had any fears. Ramon came into my life at a time when I was really struggling. He taught me that I was worth loving, he showed me the way that God loves me, he helped me laugh and have fun. We faught to stay together. We went through alot in the years we were dating. And we went through it all simply because we knew we were the ones that God had chosen for eachother. There is nothing like being married to the one that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that is the one God wanted you to be with!

So baby this is for you, it's not our anniversary, or your birthday I simply wanted to declare the the world that even after all these years "your still the one I love"

Why I'm irritated?????

Here it is the night AFTER July 4th and my neighbors all around me are shooting off firworks! It's almost 10:30 at night to. I don't know if it just comes from growing up in the jungle where we didn't deal with this stuff. Or maybe it's because I have 3 kids sleeping and I REALLY don't want them to be woken up. Or maybe because it's just plain rude! Seriously why is it that people don't consider the others around them? I mean the houses are built so close together anymore and yet people still don't care if what they do around them affects those living next to them?
Am I overreacting here? Is it really not that big of a deal or do I have a right to be upset? Who knows I just know that right now I am HIGHLY IRRITATED!

New member of the Acosta clan....

And no this time it's not me adding the member!!! Ramon's brother and his wife had there baby son last friday. Here are 2 pictures that they sent to us. He's a big boy!!

Felictaciones Jose y Marleny! Josias Reisab Acosta! June 27th 2008

Just for the record there has been a new baby added to the Acosta family every year since 2005. I wonder who will be next??

Worth Waiting FOr...

As I've been working in my garden this summer, God has been using those moments of quiet to talk to me. I've been thinking so much about where we are in our life right now and the fact that we are not doing alot ministry wise. This has been especially difficult for me right now as I feel like "Ok Lord, you sent us to Bible school for 4 yrs and now here we are! Why aren't we doing anyting?" He has been using the flowers, trees and seeds to show me signficant things. Like one, we have a tree in our back yard that is in desperate need of pruning. It can't really bloom to all it's glory until all the useless branches are cut off from it. God has been using that to show me, that I still have things I need to work on before He can allow me to bloom. I can't be expected to go out and help other quite yet. I just need to focus on GOd and allow Him to prune me in the way I need it. Also when we were planting our flowers we bought some that were already flowers just needed to be planted but the majority of what we bought were seeds. So the kids and I went out and dug holes for our little seeds and planted them. We have been watching them with much anxiety. But it has seemed to take forever for them to produce any flowers! ANd then last night after the kids were in bed and I was out weeding my little garden I looked down and there was a purple flower! From our seeds! I was so excited. I ran inside and grabbed Ramon and forced him to come outside and look. You see, the last couple of months as i've been working out there and not seeing any flowers and was enviously looking around at the nieghbors garden who didn't buy seeds and went ahead and bought the more expensive flowers. I kept thinking "Man I wish we hadn't needed to buy the cheap seeds." God just kept whispering to my heart "The good things are worth waiting for" I felt like He wasn't just talking about the flowers but also about Panama. So you see God can and does use the little things to teach us things and as my little purple flower can attest to there are some things that are just WORTH WAITING FOR!

Transracial Family

I have been reading alot of people's blogs lately who are adopting transracially and it seems to be a big topic among most of them about the world and them adopting children of a different race. And it ocurred to me that my family is a transracial family. I say "ocurred" because in all honesty it is something that I just don't think about all that often. Ramon is alot darker than I am but I truly just don't think about it very much. We do tend to get looks sometimes when we are out and about but not all the time. For the most part I think people accept more than we give them credit for. Another topic is making sure the children stay in tune with there "race" I do want to make sure that my kids realize that they are half latin and half american. I want them to be proud of both sides of them. But at the same time I don't want that to define who they are. I don't think the color or ones skin or where there race generated from should define someone. I want my children to realize that yeah my parents are 2 different colors and yes I do come from venezuela and america but my ultimate family is God's family. I can't really say that my kids are growing up Latino or American because we just kind of do things our own way. We take the best from both cultures and incorporate them into our daily lives. We try to live our lives simply by they way God wanted us to. I'm not trying to make my kids "white"or "latino" I just want them to realize that they are not defined by a race, but that they are defined by God's eyes and in his eyes we are all special! So I guess my point is, that yes we are a transracial family but that is not what defines us as a family. That yes my husband is a different color than me, but he has been the love of my life since I first layed eyes on him and he will be till I die. That yes, my kids are latin and american but they are not defined by either of those races. That we are simply put "All part of GOd's family"

ONe of THOSE moms!!!

Well I've done it.... I've finally become one of those moms!! I have put my kids on a STRICT schedule! I have been so exhausted and irritated in the morning because all 3 kids wake up SOOO early. So Ramon and I talked and we came up with a schedule that we are going to keep! I'm determined. THe kids will not be allowed to come downstairs until 8:00 AM but they are also not going to be going to bed until 8:40 PM. We have chore time, craft time, free time, reading time, all kinds of things. To be honest they are not liking "the schedule" as they are calling it but you know what I LOVE IT! I loved having an hr to myself this morning before I had to be "mom" It is making for a much happier ME! And it is making things around here run alot smoother. So yes I am one of those mothers who do the schedule thing even though I swore to myself I wouldn't be, I have to admit it really is the better way to go!

NO MORE!!!!!

Tonight as we finished the book "A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place" by Beth Moore I became completly overwhelmed with emotion. It was by something I had never really even given much thought to before. We were talking about heaven, she brought up the fact thaqt even though we don't have alot of information about what it is we do know something. NO MORE! Oh how this touched me to my very soul. NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE! No more watching the people you love die right in front of your eyes, No more loneliness, No more rejection, NO more having the people you love hurt you, No more sadness, No more feeling of self worthlessness, No more fighting, No more guilt, No more pain, No more tears, No more wishing for something more,
I could contine going on here about NO MORE but I think you get my idea. I was truly moved to tears by the thought of No more. There are so many things in my life that I just can't wait for them to be gone.
Not only does God want to make us a beautiful home to live in but He is going to make it a place where there won't even be a thought that will bring us pain! How amazing is that. Wow, we have a truly magnificent Father don't we.
What about you? WHat is your list of NO MORE'S???

Heat, Heat and more Heat!

Well here I am I haven't written in a couple of days. Mainly because it's been so hot here I can't seem to get myself to do anything, except play in the pool with the kids. I have been cleaning and just about killing myself to get it done. But today I have decided to simply not worry about it and just relax with the kids. The pool is busted though have to figure that out. So we are not even going to go outside just hang inside and watch TV. I know there are many mothers out there who consider that completly awful but I just can't bring myself to care. I mean 1 day of mindless TV watching isn't really going to do anyone any harm. Is it????

Oops, just got a phone call from my sister. Looks like I don't have to sit in my non-airconditioned house. She's going to come and get me and kids to go over to her house! Yeah! I'll be babysitting but that's just fine with me! Anything to get out of the heat and into the air!!! So now I'm off to get dressed and ready to go. THank you Lord.

Well it is only 8:19 and I have been up for about 2 hrs already. Oh the joys of young children who wake up at the crack of dawn.
Logan is at his cousins house for the weekend. He was so excited yesterday when he was leaving that he was going to get to stay for 2 whole nights! It's the most exciting that has ever happened in his young little life.
So Jhocy is in the living room watching a Barbie movie. For the mothers out there for have daughters Barbie movies are great for them. Clean and just to cute.
Jesse is running around causing havoc wherever he can. 1 yr olds.... there is nothing quite like them. :)
So not alot on the agenda for the day. CLean the kitchen AGAIN! I swear cleaning the kitchen has to take up at least 1 3rd of our lives! Never ending. Just going to clean up some, boil some eggs, give the kids some nap time and just enjoy the day. At the moment I'm feeling pretty relaxed and up for the day. I'll check back in tonight at let you know how long that feeling lasted!

Jhocy.....

Dirty dishes lay in the sink,
Dirty laundry lay in a heap,
Things scattered here and there,
In came my daughter needing a hug,

Time is going by I remind myself,
3 yrs... they flew by,
I look at her and see a little girl,
THe toddler she was no more,

Now is the time to hold her,
Now is the time to hug her,
Now is the time to build those memories,

So the dishes, the laundry they stayed where they were,
As I layed on the couch and sang her a song,
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
Little does she know that my twinkle is her.

Logan's favorite things...

Ok so I know the dogs eyes are shiny but I haven't figured out yet how to take care of that. But seriously Logan's favorite things are his puppy, his sonic (he got that from a special person in his life Mundo his daddy's life long friend and I have known him as long as I've known Ramon) and his remote control car that he got from his Uncle Darren for his birthday. My 2 favorite boys. Never a dull moment in our house.

Jesse and his favorite things..

Now you might say but he's in the same place in all of these pics how can it be his favorite things? Well the answer is simple. His favorite plase is in his highchair where he can eat! He loves to eat it is his favorite thing so here is Jesse in if he could talk he would tell you the best place in the house. (:

Aren't we cute!

Me and Jhocy!!

Ramon's new Haircut!!!???

Hot summer Days

My Garden

Flash!

THis was Logan's birthday present from his Grandma and Grandpa! He loves to run!

CHAPMAN FAMILY!!!

Please pray for the CHapman family as I'm sure many of you have heard that there youngest daughter was killed yesterday in a tragic accident. I can not imagine what they are feeling right now. Please just continue to pray for them in this time of suffering.

Me and my Man!

Ramon and I took this one day with his cell phone camera in the car just goofing off. We still love to have fun!

Mother's Day Photo Contest

what motherhood means to me ...

(photo entry for 5 minutes for mom)

As the deer panteth for the water,
so soul longeth after thee,
YOu alone are my hearts desire,
and I long to worship thee,

You alone are my strength, my shield,
to YOu alone may my Spirit yeild,


These are the words that brought tears to my eyes today in church. I sing often to my kids, in fact i have several songs that I sing on a regular basis to them and this is one of the songs. It is one of my favorites and theirs. Today as I listened to it being played on the flute and then the voices of hundreds of christians joining in and singing it, I became totally lost in it's meaning. I want to pant of the Lord! I want to need HIm like the air I breath. I have been working on changing my spiritual life, on becoming closer to my Abba father and I think this song describes Him so well. I pray that I will keep this focus on Him and this love for him that I feel.

Jesse's First BIrthday!

Well, I know these pics are late. But my camera wasn't working and we finally got it to work today so here we go. THe first cake is the one that everyone got to eat and then Jesse got his own cake which is the one you see him devouring. As you can see he loved this part of the party. :)

BTW: All my kids cakes are done by my older sister Tami.

My First Garden

Ok so the Rose doesn't look that hot in this pic. BUt it looked really beautiful today. THe Rain was kinda messing up the pictures. BUt these are my first flowers ever I have had to actually bloom. THe rose bush is actually the first one I have ever had and I am completly enjoying checking on it every morning to see how it is coming along!! So far I have 4 blooms and this one is the first to start opening! Oh God's creation I just can't get enough of it.